The Hottest State: 01/01/2004

And people ... I have a guest map. You are supposed to sign it with your location.

Get on that, okay?

My roommates told me last night that I have too much stuff. I don't think I do. All of my things are very important, and I can't just shove them in a box in my closet (partly because there is no room for anything in there).

The following is a list of things that I am not getting rid of. Ever.

... Pink elephant. My cousin gave me that when she came back from PEI.

... Love bug. Stephanie gave it to me one Valentine's Day when I was feeling down.

... Tiny ballerina bear. Sure, she's tippy, but I got her for my very last recital.

... Coca-Cola bear. Chris gave me the bear with the Rod Stewart hair after I broke up with him.

... PixieSparkle bank. It was a going away present from Veela and everyone in Ontario.

... Dot, from A Bug's Life. The Happy Meal toy is me in bug form. I think Brent gave it to me.

... Tiny plastic horse. She is my good luck charm. I take her to exams with me (and I haven't failed yet, so she works). I rescued her from a cobweb when I was 7 and staying at a summer house.

... The aquarium. It's very peaceful. Or at least, it will be when I clean it and fill it with fish.

... Lava lamp. (I think this one is self-explanatory)

And yes, it is necessary to have 38 framed pictures in my room.

Friday night was like a repeat of last semester. Dusk-til-Dawn pimped out cab, The Palace, the VIP room, etc. The only thing missing was a certain red-head making a scene at McDonalds....

It was a really fun night -- we ran into a house pub crawl from another university and met some really fun cute people. It once again reminded me of what I'm missing out on by going to such a small predominantly female university. At my drunkest, I ran into an ex on the street for a minute. When I was complaining about him in the line up for another bar, the girl behind me pointed out that it could be worse. Her last boyfriend stole her father's credit card. Ouch.

When I got home I wrote an incredibably long rambling post that was probably better suited to my real journal. Luckily, when I hit 'post' it said my session had expired and I lost it. Thank God.

I started working my second job on Friday -- And I've more then hit 10,000 steps a night there. It's really different to be working somewhere that isn't an office, but I really like it so far.

I'm feeling quite boring, so I'll stop.

Forget my last somewhat bitter post. I just got the absolute best email in the world from the absolute best emailer. Mags -- that made me feel so good. One of those that I'll print and put in a shoe box and keep til I'm 80 and re-read everytime I need a pick me up. Expect a real email from me when it isn't midnight and I can think/type coherently. You made me feel very happy and very loved and very in control of my life. Thanks hun!

Do you know what's great?
When your exboyfriend (once again) starts dating a child.
And you get stuck listening to it.

From Maggie's blog, which completely sums up how I've been feeling lately -- Odd, how our lives always run in parallel. I think that Fabio and Barbie are to blame, but I'm not sure of why. Anyway, here's what I wanted to post:

"Being Twenty-Something"
>They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going
>along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things
>about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start
>feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but
>then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
>You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those
>friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the
>greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost
>touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't
>recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really
>cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as
>you.
>You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought
>you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing
>that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares
>you.
>Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing
>and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you
>realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are
>constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what
>isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You
>laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone
>and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try
>and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the
>past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to
>do but stay where you are or move forward.
>You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
>such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet
>anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe
>you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why
>you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.
>One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
>Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
>You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and
>talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem
>to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and
>making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be
>great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
>What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to
>it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as
>hard as we can to figure this whole thing out...

One night while I was home, I ran into a guy I very briefly dated while I was at MUN. We chatted for a bit, and it turns out he will likely be spending the spring/summer in Halifax. I said we'd have to get together when he got here, and to give me his email address before he left. About an hour (and many drinks) later, he stumbles towards me with a slip of paper. "You can't spend this," he slurs. "This is beer money, but really, don't spend it. It has my email address on it." etc. I put it in my pocket and forget about it...

I get back to Halifax, add him to my MSN list, and one day he comes online and I message him.

Me: Hey! What's up?
Him: Who's this? How'd you get my address?
Me: You know me. Remember, you wrote it on a beer buck for me at Kellys on Boxing Day??
Him: Where???!
Me: Come on... You know me. We've known each other since elementary school. You were the Frank to my Martha.

After harassing him for a bit (and being quite put out about not being remembered), I realise that this guy is from Dominica, not Newfoundland, and I was making a fool of myself.

I checked the beer buck, and I had typed in just what he wrote.
He gave me a fake email address.

Probably karma for all the fake numbers I've given out.

All of Maggie and Alyson's talk of being in shape and learning how to run is starting to inspire me. Yesterday I strapped on my pedometer and went for a walk. I fell short of the 10,000 recommended steps (coming in at a mere 5,088), but I blame the lack of sidewalk plowing.

I've been feeling so... dissatisfied lately, for no real reason. I miss working out regularly, I miss people who aren't close to me and I just feel like my life is really lacking focus right now.

But I am in the middle of starting two new jobs, and the semester is starting to pick up, and maybe if I can get on and keep up an exercise kick, things will get better.

And I am the QUEEN of run-on sentences.

Earlier today I thought of something I really wanted to post. But since I was busy trying to walk down the snow covered sidewalks and not sitting comfortably in front of my computer, I forgot it.

Guess that makes this post pretty damn pointless.

Signs Moment

My roommate and I were sitting in the living room, watching tv. All of a sudden, she got up and got a huge glass of water. When she came back I asked her why, since she already had a full glass on the table. She turned to me and said, "the water tastes funny."

...

We laughed, but I was secretly wondering where the baseball bat was in case any aliens decided to attack.

I recently re-read Gone with the Wind, which brought about a conversation about a remake of the movie (NOT THAT I THINK IT SHOULD BE DONE). We were trying to figure out which actors/actresses would play Rhett/Scarlett. I can't think of anyone suitable.
John Travolta? Too goofy.
Mel Gibson? Too pretty.
Nicole Kidman (who is in everything lately)? HELL NO.
etc, etc.

Truthfully, I don't even really like Clarke Gable in the role... He was okay, but he doesn't match the picture I have in my mind of Rhett.

I ask you this:
What actor/actress today could pull off the role(s)?? I don't think such actors exist, but I'm willing to be proved wrong.

However, if anyone should actually choose to remake this movie, I think I am the obvious choice for Scarlett -- if you overlook the fact that I don't have a 17 inch waist.

I was talking to a friend from high school tonight (Ryan, for those of you who went to high school with me). We haven't talked in a few years. Maybe once or twice since I left Newfoundland. He happened to come online tonight though, so we were chatting.

It was funny, because I had been thinking of him recently and he told me he had been thinking about me the other day too. Funny how that works. But as Ryan said, "Time is only a number with some people. Good friends don't just vanish... No matter how long they're gone." He always has the perfect response. Another favourite is, "Not second best, second to arrive."

But I'm getting off topic.

I'm starting to develop a theory about the ways we stay connected to people, even when we don't realise it. I haven't quite been able to put it into words yet, so bare (bear? I dunno) with me.

I found a necklace that Ryan gave me in grade seven, which made me think of him. He apparently thinks of me too at some point in time near when I found the necklace, and then we get to chat a bit.

A few years ago, I found an email address written on a scrap of paper that belonged to a guy that I had lost touch with, but who I really connected with at the time I knew him. I email him, and he emails me back and tells me that he had found a letter I wrote him in his car a few days before (and he had no idea how a letter written four years previous got in his car) and he had heard a song that we used to listen to all the time (Song 2 - Blur) on the radio. And that email address I found was about to be disconnected, so if I hadn't written at that exact point, we probably would have lost touch forever. That was two years ago, and we are still good friends in close touch.

I'm not sure what else I'm trying to say here, except I don't think it's a coincidence. I have other examples to back up my yet-nameless theory, but I won't bore you with them.

Let me just sum up this overly long ramble by repeating Ryan:
Good friends don't just vanish. No matter how long they're gone

I think he hit the nail on the head.

Heartbroken.

Tennessee lost.

Right before I came back to Halifax, I stopped to say goodbye to my Grandparents. The usual advice I get is to "be good and say your prayers". For as long as I remember, any conversation I have with my Grandmother ends that way. So imagine my surprise as I'm hugging my grandmother goodbye while trying desperately not to cry and she tells me "Now -- Don't you come back married!" ... And then she kept repeating it, even after I assured her that would not happen.

The urge to cry totally disappeared as I struggled to figure out what brought on this advice.

I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone.

I'm not dating anyone.

I'm not even interested in anyone.

Injustice

Imagine this: You're leaving a part time job because you will be out of province, so you help conduct interviews and recommend a certain person to hire to replace you. Then, a few months later, you come home and re-apply for the job (and are told that your interview is 'just a formality'). You get interviewed by the person you hired, and even have a discussion about how you were the one to hire said person. THEN, this person doesn't hire you.

The Hottest State

1.29.2004

1.25.2004

1.22.2004

1.21.2004

1.19.2004

1.17.2004

1.14.2004

1.12.2004

1.11.2004

1.10.2004

1.07.2004

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